- Taylor Esche is the 28-year-old owner of a public relations company specializing in hospitality.
- Last year, Esche found out she was pregnant. She had an abortion on Friday and went back to work on Saturday.
- This is her story, as told to writer Fortesa Latifi.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Taylor Esche, a 28-year-old professional who owns a public relations company specializing in hospitality. It has been edited for length and clarity.
I've been on birth control pills since I was 16. But last year, for whatever reason, birth control failed me. I found myself pregnant when I didn't want to be.
I was shocked. I took two pregnancy tests, then I went to urgent care to confirm.
I told my partner, we cried together, and then we made the decision to end the pregnancy together
The nurse at the urgent care told me to be careful who I sought care from. I live in Tennessee, and she said sometimes healthcare providers try to convince patients away from abortions. The other thing about living in Tennessee is that there's a mandatory 48-hour waiting period between the initial appointment and the actual procedure.
The week that I found out I was pregnant, there were no open first appointments in the state of Tennessee. We looked in neighboring states like Alabama, and we even considered driving to Chicago to stay with friends and book an open appointment there.
Since the Supreme Court leak that signals Roe v. Wade is likely to be overturned, I've been thinking about my experience more — and all the people who won't be able to travel for abortion care due to the costs of traveling, taking working off, and booking hotels.
I had the abortion on Friday. On Saturday morning, I was at a photoshoot for work.
We ended up finding an appointment in Tennessee the next week. But because of the lack of appointments and mandatory 48-hour waiting period, I had to go into work at 9 a.m. the day after my abortion. If there had been open appointments or I hadn't had to wait 48 hours between the initial appointment and the procedure, I would've been able to schedule more time to grieve and process.
But as it was, I run my own business, and it was a really big week for us. We had a massive three-day photoshoot with my employees and clients visiting from out of town.
In this case, I want to note how lucky I am to be my own boss
I had the autonomy to take time away from a big project, and I had trust in the employees I left to run things while I was gone. They were so understanding.
As for the client, I just told them I had a family emergency. I remember being scared we were going to lose them, our biggest client, because of my absence. But we didn't, and my employees really stepped up for me.
My coworkers shouldered the majority of the work that day, and I'm so grateful for that. I was just in a cloud, but I compartmentalized my feelings because I knew business had to be taken care of. And it was.
I think all employees should have personal days where they aren't asked questions about why they can't come in
After going through the struggle of accessing reproductive healthcare and immediately returning to work, I've thought about what employers could do to make these and other personal situations easier. That's where designated personal days come in.
Sometimes you don't want to tell your boss what's going on and why you need time off, or maybe you even feel unsafe doing so. I wonder if there's a way to have days for reproductive care, too. Maybe a person is having a horrible period, maybe they're pregnant and hormonal, or maybe they just had an abortion or a miscarriage.
There should be padding for people to take care of their bodies and minds. As a business owner, I see that as an investment into your employees and your company.
The week of my abortion was the worst week of my life
I didn't know how far along I was, and it was eating me alive. I had decided a long time ago that I would only ever get an abortion if I couldn't hear a heartbeat yet. I know this is different for everyone, and my abortion was a lot earlier than a lot of people even know they're pregnant.
I think people should be able to access abortion way further than I did, but the heartbeat was a deciding factor for me. Having that waiting period in Tennessee, it felt like I was losing very valuable time in not being able to access an appointment. For other people, there may be the worry of crossing over gestationally into a period where abortion is no longer legal.
I don't feel ashamed of my abortion, but keeping it a secret makes it feel shameful
That's why I won't. The night of the Roe leak, I told my fiancé that my silence felt complicit — and just like we did with the actual procedure, my partner and I made the choice that I would publicly talk about my abortion. So I did.
If Roe is officially rescinded (although it feels more like a matter of when), I worry about the people who will be affected — namely, people of color and people of lower socioeconomic status. That's why I think that the best thing employers can do to support people is pay them what they're worth. That way, they don't have to come to a decision like this and wonder if they can afford to take time off work or travel to another state for healthcare.
Things seem dark right now, but people can still get help
To those who can, donate to your local abortion funds, especially those who help logistically and financially and will help get pregnant people out of hostile territory.
To those in need of abortion access, I hope you can reach out to funds and clinics directly to get the help you need to gain access to this vital piece of healthcare.